1MT2 Party Song

Hey Stupidblog Readers!

We have a little over a week left to the winter kick-off bash, 1Mt2, and we're compiling a Slam Dunk playlist. Miley's latest chart-topper "Party in the U.S.A." was recently added. It's a great song, but even I might tire of listening to it on loop. Are there any smash hits YOU'D like to hear? Don't worry, 'hurts so good' is already on there. enjoy the vid and stupid banter...

LJ: movin my hips like yeaaa





SNOW: Stupid. Actually, there are some VIXEN in that video...

KLIM: Not gonna lie...it's growing on me

LJ: perhaps a 1MT2er can lend their truck for the dance party... can you install a swing in the IGLOO?

SNOW: You can't see it right now, but I'm noddin' my head like "yeah." We'll get a swing. Man, at 1MT2, everybody's gonna be lookin' so famous. I can't wait.

Compliments of SHINN

Rule number 1 of posting stupidvideos: Get on SHINN's e-mail list. That guy is flush to the gills with stuff like this...

Slaaaaaaam DUNK!

Bacon DOES, in fact, make everything better! 100% concurrence!

Balloon Boy's Family Rap Video

Dude, this family is just stupid. May the children be taken away and the parents locked up in the funny farm.



Post on the stupidity that is the Balloon Boy Stunt, forthcoming...

"Medical Fact"

Gustave Le Bon, a founding FAther of psychology, was, you know...

watch 5:21-6:02

No shame!!!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

All the Single Babies

Dude. 0:38 to 0:40 or so...

Running Fools

Sometimes, all you need for a good StupidBlog post is to poke around on Facebook... (names, except for the not-so-innocent, blacked out to protect the innocent)

Heathcliff!

KLIM and I were discussing this great 1980's cartoon and speculating on which of the characters we and our friends would be. I couldn't resist finding an episode with some couplets from Wordsworth the roller-skating, rhyming cat. To get the full Stupid effect, you have to watch the whole episode. TJS! You WILLL enjoy it, though!

Slaaaaam Dunk.

SLAM DUNK!

Flirty Girl!

Alongside trips to Dunkin' Donuts and being able to rent cars like Hyundai Accents and PT Cruisers, one of the side benefits to my business travel in Connecticut is coming back (after workout and gourmet meal, of course) to the snotel in the evening and turning on the tube, usually finding cable infomercial gems that I wouldn't normally come across. HOW COULD I CHANGE THE CHANNEL FROM THIS?!?! ... "the new workout plan that is taking over the airwaves."



Some highlights:
1:15: "And it all starts with Booty Beat." Indeed it does.
1:45: "But as a flirty girl..." and she begins a demo. I don't know too many flirty girls like her.
2:01: "We take the hottest moves from your favorite sexy videos and make it a FABULOUS routine." YESSSSSSSS!
2:09: "All right girls, let's take it to the BOOTY THRUST!" Hahahahahaha!
2:23: "Dance like no one is looking. That's the SPIRIT OF FLIRTY GIRL FITNESS!!!!"
3:59: The "Flirty Fitness Pole" is introduced. YESSSS, a stripper pole is thrown in for $1!!!!
4:53: The chair dance coordinated introduction. I like this section!
5:27: "As a flirty girl, you become this incredibly efficient fat-burning machine!" "And who wouldn't want that?" "I KNOW!"
6:53: A promise-- "You'll never... workout... again."
7:33: "I can fit in my skinny jeans now without sucking in!"
7:50: "At the end, are they doing the Chair Dance with hotel room ballroom chairs?

And putting FG in practice? How could I resist checking the link for the "Flirty Girl Fitness Video VIXEN Workshop by Lisa Marie"???

Performance

Uhh... yeah.

G-Chat Stupidity

PLATINUM SLOOT re-enacts a virtual cracking-egg high-5 alternative on GCHAT while coordinating tomorrow's workout schedule.



















SNOW does a scary-dark Max Headroom impersonation on GCHAT. PLATINUM enjoys.

How Cool Are You? (Scale of 1 to 4)

I think these two look familiar. Can't remember if it's Georgetown or Clarendon...

Lost Sock = Foot (unclothed) in Mouth

Somewhere in my office building, I LOST one of my cycling socks after by bike-commute one day last week. I made a fool of myself asking gym employees, heat-packing DOD security guards, and 21-y/o blonde intern babes if they'd seen my lost sock. Every response was a big fat "no" (except for the interns, who just giggled at me. I cut my losses, stuffed my hands in my pockets, and walked away red-faced). End result? Stylish look for the afternoon interval workout and commute home:

A Night at Wolf Trap

I was pretty pumped to come to Wolf Trap and sit on this lawn...

















... and to hear these guys...















... play "Carmina Burana"....

But then this guy...














... blew through and sat on our heads for 1.5 hours, creating this...














... and now I'm soaked to the bone and just feel stupid. But the concert rocked! At least, that that I heard over the pounding pitter-patter... Good times!

Mr. President!!!

"Yowza!" he says as some Euro-vixen walks past. Perhaps Prez O can be forgiven, as he has been hanging out with Italian Pres Silvio Berlusconi, after all...

Rev. Al Sharpton Grinding...

... at a memorial tribute to Michael Jackson at the Apollo Theater.

Fighting a Giraffe...

Did you ever wonder to yourself why Al Gore invented the internet? I'm pretty sure it's so that people could post, search for, and view this video.

In honor of KLIMDAY / MAYDAY

Yes, the JUNTO's beloved RED FOX AKA KLIM has a birthday today, May 1st. To honor the occasion, we wish to celebrate one of his stupider moments caught on film. Actually, it's rather tame and I am sure there are many stupider moments on film, but this is one of the best I have to offer.

In Idaho on a ski trip, at the saloun on trivia night, RED FOX decided to show his skill in making hats, a la one of the haberdashers of olden tymes. Many don't know that the RED FOX himself spun many a coonskin cap for notorious and heroic frontiersman, war heroes, crime bosses, and early magnates alike-- all over the U.S. of A-- to include Daniel Boone, Lord Alfred Tennyson, Lewis, Clark, Boss Tweed, John Calhoun, Robert E. Lee, and Eminem. As an old-tyme haberdasher of the 18th century from the nor'eastuhn corner of ye olde Tennessee, RED FOX demonstrates in this video his skills in hat-making to the brewers, fronstiersmen, telemarkers, hunters, huntresses, and Injuns of the Idaho frontier.



WARNING: Haberdasher in action! For those young haberdashers still learning, note the importance of the following tips in successfully fashioning a good hat:
1) Whistle continuously with no tune while spinning the hat under construction
2) Be sure to shuffle your beer and other hat construction materials from side to side as you work
3) Rub your hands together from time to time
4) Hold a finger up to "shush" observers and hold them at bay if they are trying to distract you
5) Upon trying on your hat, rub hands through fur or felt to assure quality
6) Wear appropriate attire when making hats-- preferably a leather cowboy coat with leather strings hanging from the sleeves
7) ALWAYS, ALWAYS look very surprised when a hat materializes from under the table... er, from your work bench

The Beast, Part II

UPDATE: CHRIS BAIN (Stupidblogged upon several days ago) IS THE BEAST OF BEASTS AND IS NO LONGER WORTHY OF MENTION ON STUPIDBLOG, BUT IN THE "HALL OF HEROES" ON THE WASHINGTON JUNTO WEBSITE (www.theswashingtonjunto.blogspot.com). IN HIS OWN WORDS: "You won't believe this.... I just ran a PR--2:31:06 and took 4th place. I'm now officially a millionaire in Korea.

The trip so far has been amazing. The hospitality has been unbelievable; truly elite treatment for us invitedd runners. Tomorrow all of the other athletes head home and I head off into other parts of Korea." (No doubt on a victory tour to high-five the locals, build some schools for impoverished children of rice paddy-tenders, and to negotiate an end to the PRK's nuke weapon programme).

Please note, Bain ran 2:36 for 26.2 LESS THAN a week ago!!

Dance Fatale

Stupidest of all stupids

I'm remiss on posting stupid things on STUPIDBLOG. Have no fear, stupid things have been happening and, more importantly, have been being documented! I've just been tied up with things like GTWD and actually performing stupid actions, so have not been able to stupidly blog.

I know that many of you have seen the story on the guy who DUI'd on the motorized barstool, but it's worth a mention on STUPIDBLOG, the only corner of cyberspace where you get the flavor of LAHP, PLATINUM, and SNOW's stupid observations! Enjoy.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/31/kile-wygle-gets-dui-on-mo_n_181264.html

-----Original Message-----
From: L to the AHP
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 12:21 PM
To: PLATINUM
Cc: SNOW
Subject: Re:

Yeah..that is faster than us on bikes going downhill. Imagine riding that thing drunk?! The pic definitely made the story!
____________________

On Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 9:19 AM, PLATINUM wrote:

yea the PIC is HILARIOUS and 38 mph WTF! faster than ME AND LAHP ON BIKES. scary

____________________

On Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 12:14 PM, SNOW wrote:

SLAM-DUNK! I was not going to post on this, but now that I've seen details of the bar-stool's speed (38mph), locomotion (modified lawn-mower motor), and appearance (ridonkulous picture), it's worthy of posting on stupidblog!

R/
SNOW
____________________

-----Original Message-----

From: L to the AHP
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 12:03 PM
To: SNOW
Cc: PLATINUM
Subject: Re:

SNOW and PLATINUM,
Here is a Wednesday morning present for your stupid blog. I heard about it on NPR. I'm not sure this is the caliber of stupidity you are looking for, but i sprayed coffee all over myself this morning while listening.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/31/kile-wygle-gets-dui-on-mo_n_181264.html

L to the AHP

The Beast

BAIN. The mild-mannered computer programmer, the Boston lifer, Silent Thunder, the legend. He crushes the feared Boston Marathon course on MONDAY in 2:36, then flies to South Korea for a SATURDAY marathon. Folks, that’s 2:36 of pain, begin “recovery,” fly home to DC, board a plane to Seoul, fly 24 hours, LOSE A DAY, and run another marathon on THREE DAYS REST! This man is one bad mutha, getting the work done in mad fashion. His toughness is undeniable. His will is enviable. But his plan for one hell-week of cross-continental marathon dominance— is that just stupid? Only Saturday (and the next month) will tell.

GODSPEED, BAIN. We at STUPIDBLOG wish you the best!

Is this JARRIN?????

Taken from today's DRUDGE Report. I had thought JARRIN was running Boston today, but I guess not...

"Left Hand, meet Right Hand."

I ran across this in a briefing I pulled off the internet when I was researching some stuff at work. So hilarious for us in the military culture, but so true and typical of DOD! And if different branches of DOD have this much trouble talking to each other, it's no wonder we *all* have a hard time agreeing on one path forward.

Yes, imagine the results if you had a true, joint operation with four units (preferably all officers, no enlisted) from four services trying to "secure" a building. Mass confusion! Trained commandos with Masters degrees sprinting around aimlessly with clipboards and semi-automatics. Stupid!

These are hysterical...

April Fool's from my company.
In 2008 we unveiled the "HandSolo"





And in 2009, the "Convergence Program"



Enjoy!


- JARRIN

April Fools Joke from Gmail

STUPID.

Two or three weeks late...

... and a dollar short, but DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS HERE TO STAYYYY!!! It may be temporary for the year, but hold your horses, guapos and guapitas! This permanent and SLAM-DUNK legislation was enacted ON THIS DAY in 1918! How lucky are we? Check out this victory poster from the cigar store cabal's celebration of the legislation to create DST.








I look forward to hanging this one on my door on Friday night.



















Huzzah for DST; huzzah for sleeping in!

Pumpkin Ignition Event 2008

Halloween at the IGLOO had *everything* in 2008.

CONSIDER and let your mind be blown:
- 4 pumpkins (one of which was 2 feet in diameter and WHITE-GREEN!)
- 4-foot-tall flames shooting from the pumpkins (shortly after the fuel was lit, at least)
- Roasted pumpkin seeds
- Raggedy Ann and Indy Jones toasting marshmallows over the pumpkin pyre, making s'mores
- A Texas oilman sharing stogies with Wayne (of "Wayne's World" fame)
- A doctor checking health of the flaming pumpkin with his stethoscope
- Plentiful brew
- A yippy dog barking at the flames (or at Jake)
- Garth (of "Wayne's World" fame) warming her hands o'er the pumpkin
- Apparently, some babe in a vampire-superhero costume
- And EVEN some extracurriculars on our way "out"-- such as an oaf-like fella in pink challenging an elite-running oilman to a reverse escalator race!

SLAM DUNK! Check the pics AND VIDS below!!!!














































































































































































































Pumpkin Ignition Event For the Amusement of Children and Everyone-else (PIE-FACE) 2009 will be even better. We'll have better fuel, as well as a pump-operated contraption to spew flames from the pumpkins' toothy grin-holes. And we'll again head out to The Guards afterward for dancing with refrigerators, Trojans, cats, men dressed as women, girls in "sexy referee" costumes, and such.

Miller High Life--Alternative Fuels

Substitute "Johnny Walker " for "Miller High Life" and you might have KLIM's alternative fuel pegged.

"Who else seen da lepuhkon? Say, 'Yeah!'" Heeeeey!

"Could be a crackhead who got ahold of the wrong stuff."
"This is a special leprechaun flute that was passed down thousands of years from my great-great-grandfather who was Irish."
"I'm a rent a backhoe and uproot dat tree. I wanna know where the gold at. I want the gold. Give me the gold, I want the gold."

And two of the best leprechaun remixes out there!




Wow!

Li’l bit o’ da cheer to ya!

Aye, here’s a wee li’l’ wish for a happy St. Paddy’s Day to ya! An’ don’tcha know I be sendin’ me leprechaun cheer your way but also a li’l’ bit o’ da caution! Beware, sonnies and bonny lasses of the hazards of the brew and libaaaaations, Guinness and Irish coffees be included! Mind ya that ya don’t let da beer goggles blind ya tonight so fierce datcha do zumthin’ datcha gonna regret or be chaaaasin’ zumthin’ ya might not udderwise! Heeeere's to 'opin' datcha remembered to wear da greeeen today, else ya might get a little o' da pinchin'!!!! Eeee-hee-hee-hee!

VIXEN! Barbie's 50th Anniversary

She's getting old-- albeit not as old as Vanna White-- and she's apparently had her fill of Ken and his "typical chauvinistic man in a pink Barbie Corvette" shenanigans, so what better way to find her "fountain of youth" than to move onto younger subjects in need of less Viagra? Yes, Barbie has struck out on her own, now prowling Georgetown in search of young, dapper gentlemen of the ilk of KLIM, Hunter, Noah, SNOW, BAIN, JARRIN, DylanDwayneDwight, ASIAN, and Diego. Cougar Barbie is here, and she's on the prowl. Next time you're out, she'll be at the Four Seasons, the bar at Citronelle, Billy Martin's, the Guards, or Milano; who knows, you may be her next... VICTIM???? Grrrrr.....



Yowza! She runs hot but high maintenance, so BE ON THE LOOKOUT, boyz, or your next close encounter may be with silicone and/or Dream Botox...

A slam-dunk holiday!

"I'll take another pint..."

Further proof that it's a good idea SNOW has given up beer for Lent.

Ugliest cat in the world?

http://wbztv.com/watercooler/pets/ugly.cat.scary.2.949524.html

Absolutely SLAM-DUNK 1970's JC Penney catalog unearthed!

High fashion from the '70's! "Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this..."

Click on this link or the pic at left.

Just imagine kid JARRIN dressed like this!

Ridonkulous!

TJS.

"Jeopardy" Champ - Slip of the Tongue

"WHOOOOOAAA. WHOOOOAAA. WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA. They teach you that in school in Utah?"

Hundreds attend Global Warming Protest

Howdy Partner

Optimistic Loser

Here's a commercial I just saw on TV, entitled either "Optimism" or "Greatest Hitter in the World." The kid is *self-pitching* the baseball in the air, trying to hit it, all the while chanting that he's the greatest hitter in the world. After three straight misses, he gives up and looks glum, then decides that he's the "greatest pitcher in the world." So is this the lesson to teach kids? "Can't succeed? Just give up and change your goals; a 180-degree shift, a re-setting of the bar, and everything's A-OK again. No need to KEEP TRYING to succeed at your goals, just change 'em." ????? More of the PC loser attitude that can drag America down from greatness, bit by bit-"it doesn't matter what you achieve or don't achieve, what really matters is how you feel." Lame!

StupiDiego

While on the Left Coast this past weekend, I went to sea with this nuke ballistic missile sub...










... and watched an ICBM launch from the sea, as evidenced by the aftermath here. This was a ridiculously stupid boondoggle as taxpayer-funded trips go, but all necessary for the sake of national defense, of course. At sea, one must eat, and while doing so, why not eat well?



So we sarfed some ridiculously good shrimp and beef-kebabs, potato salad, and mac'n'cheese at a cookout on the deck of the ship on the way back into port... Done. So what next? May as well stay the weekend (not on taxpayer dime, mind you) and hang out with Jeremy "MUXXA" Mucha, fellow Georgia Tech grad, veteran of national championships in rowing, track cycling, and snowboarding, current APM for engineering at a Navy activity in San Diego, beach bum, survivor of 31 eggs consumed in 15 minutes (the day after 30 eggs, the day after 29, and so on), and all-around up-pumper extreme.

We threw down some of the world's best fish tacos in Ocean Beach (OB)...











... ate a decadent, huge breakfast of "fried chicken eggs benedict" at Hash House (note MUXXA's stupid "I support breasts" breast cancer t-shirt with two pink hands on the breasts)...













... and enjoyed San Diego's best burger at Hodad's in (you guessed it) OB.










Far and away the stupidest chain of events of the weekend involved the Great Biking Ordeal. As background, MUXXA and I deliberated at length over "what to do" during the weekend I'd be in San Diego.
- Snowboard at Mammoth?
- Ride bikes in the hills?
- Hang out on the beach and eat lots of fish tacos and Mexican?
- Tomfoolery in Tijuana (with the added excitement of dodging the kidnappers and kidney-nappers)?

In the end, we opted to hang around the beach and eat fish tacos, with the occasional bike ride (with the purpose of making room for the next meal of fish tacos). MUXXA, a stalwart of the San Diego cycling community, is buds with a guy who runs a pimpin' Italian-style bike shoppe in town. Think "small, specialized, elite, pricey, specializing in Colnagos," you get the picture. MUXXA tells me when I arrive that his buddy is hooking me up with a Colnago C50. For the uninitiated, we're talking about an all-carbon, super-light, smooth-rollin' machine of highest caliber, a $9000 baby just waiting to cry under the stresses of Snow's swift-crankin' pedal-strokes. How can I resist this test drive? (Answer: I can't).

We visited the Bike Boutique and were greeted with a locked door, shortly unlocked from within by the lovely store clerk Colomba, a 100% Italian babe whose blue eyes worked magic as she closed her Calculus book and commenced "figuring out why these boys want to take a bicycle." (The store owner was out). Colomba contacted the owner, who confirmed our legitimacy but stated that "those guys are supposed to be leaving me a case of beer for the bike." More Euro-cuteness from Colomba: "They brought Modelo. Is that okay?"

After yanking the C-Fitty off the wall, the exchange went like this:
MUXXA: "We'll bring it back tonight or tomorrow sometime, maybe."
Colomba: "There is no tomorrow." Immediately, SNOW falls out and drops jaw, mesmerized at the utter Italian-ness of the whole statement! Elegant, simplistic, ludicrous yet true, and even a little bit dark. This girl is legit.
SNOW: "That's ridiculous! There is no tomorrow?" Beaming with appreciation.
Colomba looks puzzled but entertained by the silly, skeptical Americans: "No."
MUXXA: "So you're not open tomorrow, okay. No, no, we get it, it's just.... Okay, so tonight or Monday."

Side note: SNOW, who has no game, would only later realize that the perfect response to, "There is no tomorrow," would have been, "Well then, tonight had better be good! What are you doing?" If only...

As documented in a previous stupidpost, I had brought out all my gear for the weekend's riding:
- Helmet? Check
- Cycling jersey? Check
- 'dex? Check
- Long-sleeve dri-fit shirt (since I have no arm warmers) of some sort? Check
- Allen wrench (for pedals?) Check
- Pedals? Check
- Cycling shoes? Uh-oh.........

No cycling shoes? That means no riding.

BUT DID THAT...
I SAID, "DID THAT"...
DETER...
SNOOOOOOOOOW?!

NOOOOO WAAAAAAAY!

To Performance we went, looking for the sale o' the day. What do you know? Performance, which finds more occasions for a sale than a Bears and Stearn inside trader in February '08, was having its "President's Day Sale." I figured that I may as well round out my road shoes with a decent pair of SPD-cleated commuter-type shoes, so as to make the walking easier on the odd occasion when I go downtown to "meet someone" or wander a museum or "attend an event" like a jazz festival or something, or better yet on days when I commute via bike and choose NOT to do spandex-splits on the shiny lobby floor of my office building. The end result? This getup:

Exhibit A: The glorious Colnago road-bike, apple of my weekend eye (aside from the lovely Colomba).
Exhibit B: Blue Cannondale jersey. Legit and plain.
Exhibit C: The requisite armbands of Livestrong and CarolineCan.
Exhibit D: The MUXXA MINI, which shuttled the Colnago about town.
Exhibit E: Patagonia fleece, unexpectedly pressed into cycling service in the San Diego COLD.
Exhibit F: Brand new SPD pedals, purchased at Performance to go with the new shoes required.
Exhibit G: The ridiculously sweet new commuter shoes. Schimano black-and-brown leather tightness, perfect for riding a buttery smooth road-racing bike. ;-)
Exhibit H: Wine cork thrown down by one of MUXXA's beach-hippy wine-o bum neighbors.
Exhibit J: Long-sleeve lightweight synthetic Asics running shirt, complimentary from Georgetown Running Company via KLIM (after I did some stupid favor for KLIM one weekend, like picked him up after he drank too much beer during a run and couldn't drive home).
Exhibit K: Shard of glass that flatted one tire at the very end of my first ride on the sweet bike.
Exhibit S: Sh**-eating grin of SNOW at the lunacy of all this.

All told, two nice weekend rides around the SD, some tasty meals... AND some stupid stories.