Bicycle crash in Afghanistan

Smart?

"Smart" cars seem cool, I guess. Efficient, anything but road-clogging, trendy, and able to be shoehorned into any inner-city parallel parking spot you throw at it. But when I spotted one south of Charlotte on I-85 today, I shook my head.

Zebra stripes? Okay. I get the advertising appeal of the zebra-Smart with your law firm's name plastered on the side. But here's the thing-- you spend your $30,000+ to hug a few trees and gain some mpg's and express your inner Euro-chic cred to blonde, 20-something, hot little socialite/debutante things, and still you ask, "How can I play up the cute factor at Christmastime?" So you think, "A-ha. Clearly, what a 40-year-old male attorney like me needs is a teeny-weeny Christmas tree to go on my cute minicar! After all, if I were a Frenchman driving a Smart, that's what I'd do for the holidays." Yes, just the way you the southern counselor in the vein of John Calhoun-- in the red-blooded, McCain-voting, Chevy-truck-dooley-driving American South-- should be thinking: like a white-flag-waving, mustachioed weeny-man artiste that doesn't celebrate Christmas. So you buy a 2-foot-tall artificial tree, twine it to your roof, then proceed to hit the interstate at 80+ mph in an effort to.. what? Play up your efficiency? Gain some speed on the downhills? Score some points with John Kerry? Oh, oh no, that's right-- to look cute.

Some might call this "fun" or "cute" or "quirky." I just call it stupid!